mixed feeling.
between want to and forcing myself not to.
it's just so. hai, i dont know what to say.
you know, sometimes i really feel like kicking you to ali-ba-ba land for the things you did to me and your friends? how you pushed problems to your friend. what you asked teng to do. how you put words into my mouth. all the little things here and there.

but sometimes, you're just like a little boy out there who seems to be fighting everything alone.
all the deferment shit and pile of things out there, piling up on you one by one.
i feel like going that extra mile to help you out ; in one way or another.

you dont even dare to do a small thing such as calling up innova jc to appeal into the school the other time round, let alone calling up mindef or what.
you sounded so sad about the deferment thing and about life. the more you tell me bout it, the more i feel as though you're a lost sheep stranded on a large field, deciding which route to take to lead you back to the farm.
you know this side of me wish to help .
to settle all the admin stuff about deferment just like what i did bout the appeal last dec. anyway it's just a few calls and emails away.
but another side of me told myself, you're 20.
you're no longer a little kid like what you sounded to be like over msn. we learn as we go on in life.


or am i childish.
maybe all that i wanted is to have no connection with you in whatever ways.
truth is i'm really hurt the other time.
i never felt pain and sorrow so close to me.
the taste of disappointment is not only bitter. it's something more yucky than that.
the things you said. the things you did.
i dont even dare to think bout it, cause this pain is still close to me after all these while.
i'm tired of having those nightmares.

so horrible.






-sorry

mixed feeling.
between want to and forcing myself not to.
it's just so. hai, i dont know what to say.
you know, sometimes i really feel like kicking you to ali-ba-ba land for the things you did to me and your friends? how you pushed problems to your friend. what you asked teng to do. how you put words into my mouth. all the little things here and there.

but sometimes, you're just like a little boy out there who seems to be fighting everything alone.
all the deferment shit and pile of things out there, piling up on you one by one.
i feel like going that extra mile to help you out ; in one way or another.

you dont even dare to do a small thing such as calling up innova jc to appeal into the school the other time round, let alone calling up mindef or what.
you sounded so sad about the deferment thing and about life. the more you tell me bout it, the more i feel as though you're a lost sheep stranded on a large field, deciding which route to take to lead you back to the farm.
you know this side of me wish to help .
to settle all the admin stuff about deferment just like what i did bout the appeal last dec. anyway it's just a few calls and emails away.
but another side of me told myself, you're 20.
you're no longer a little kid like what you sounded to be like over msn. we learn as we go on in life.


or am i childish.
maybe all that i wanted is to have no connection with you in whatever ways.
truth is i'm really hurt the other time.
i never felt pain and sorrow so close to me.
the taste of disappointment is not only bitter. it's something more yucky than that.
the things you said. the things you did.
i dont even dare to think bout it, cause this pain is still close to me after all these while.
i'm tired of having those nightmares.

so horrible.






-sorry