my eyes hurt.
pain in the left eyes yesterday and it's the right eye today.
so much so that i've to leave for the doctor at 10am today.
sorry for being money-minded. i guess money matters a lot to me. on my way to the doctor, i'm still thinking of what i've missed out. i thought i could work from 8 to 9pm today. but sadly my eyes and throat fail me. to leave 11hours earlier means a loss of $77 in income, which i reckon is very important to me at this point of time since i didn't work as much this month, and i've school everyday for the next month.

sorry for this whiny post. i thought i need to vent them out before it balloons into something disastrous.

i was told by the doctor that i overworked my eyes and throat maybe. thanks to the cough that clings tightly onto me since few weeks back.
and i've got myself to blame for the screwed-up bio clock.

on a normal day, I'll head for bed at 8 in the morning. don't ask me what i did in the wee hours. i don't know as well. trance.
on a working day, i'll head for work without sleeping for the whole night. and report back at 10plus. guess that's how my eyes overworked.
the cycle keeps going on. and i'd better stop whatever i'm doing before my liver and lungs fail me.

but. i paid back just now. i slept for 9hours since i got home.


we've all been holding on for too long.

sometimes, i feel that sorry is the last thing i wanna hear. but i hear it still. not blaming anyone or anything. because some days, sorry is what i don't wish to say, and prolly the last thing he wants to hear. but i say it still. simply because other than sorry, it's still sorry.

don't ask me why i ain't doing anything to it. because i finally understand that maybe not doing is doing, not trying is trying or maybe trying is dying. the more he tries, the more helpless i feel. the more i try, the more cuts i got.

don't tell me about the extra duties he volunteered in camp. don't tell me the things he did for me. he's trapped. so am i. unknowingly we got into it. unknowingly we got trapped. unknowingly, we ended up like this.

'whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see'
we're all trying to osmose this into our head. ain't we?


and it's not like i'm the only one in the family. i thought i've the weight of the whole family on my shoulders.

yes.
life is overrated.

i don't want to talk about it.
sorry for being such a bitch with lousy attitude in this entry.
my apologies.

my eyes hurt.
pain in the left eyes yesterday and it's the right eye today.
so much so that i've to leave for the doctor at 10am today.
sorry for being money-minded. i guess money matters a lot to me. on my way to the doctor, i'm still thinking of what i've missed out. i thought i could work from 8 to 9pm today. but sadly my eyes and throat fail me. to leave 11hours earlier means a loss of $77 in income, which i reckon is very important to me at this point of time since i didn't work as much this month, and i've school everyday for the next month.

sorry for this whiny post. i thought i need to vent them out before it balloons into something disastrous.

i was told by the doctor that i overworked my eyes and throat maybe. thanks to the cough that clings tightly onto me since few weeks back.
and i've got myself to blame for the screwed-up bio clock.

on a normal day, I'll head for bed at 8 in the morning. don't ask me what i did in the wee hours. i don't know as well. trance.
on a working day, i'll head for work without sleeping for the whole night. and report back at 10plus. guess that's how my eyes overworked.
the cycle keeps going on. and i'd better stop whatever i'm doing before my liver and lungs fail me.

but. i paid back just now. i slept for 9hours since i got home.


we've all been holding on for too long.

sometimes, i feel that sorry is the last thing i wanna hear. but i hear it still. not blaming anyone or anything. because some days, sorry is what i don't wish to say, and prolly the last thing he wants to hear. but i say it still. simply because other than sorry, it's still sorry.

don't ask me why i ain't doing anything to it. because i finally understand that maybe not doing is doing, not trying is trying or maybe trying is dying. the more he tries, the more helpless i feel. the more i try, the more cuts i got.

don't tell me about the extra duties he volunteered in camp. don't tell me the things he did for me. he's trapped. so am i. unknowingly we got into it. unknowingly we got trapped. unknowingly, we ended up like this.

'whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see'
we're all trying to osmose this into our head. ain't we?


and it's not like i'm the only one in the family. i thought i've the weight of the whole family on my shoulders.

yes.
life is overrated.

i don't want to talk about it.
sorry for being such a bitch with lousy attitude in this entry.
my apologies.